Talk Nerdy To Me
by BabyDollJohnny
Summary: Only Lauren can make food sound so scientific. No spoilers beyond 3x03.


"Mama lurve the mexican sauce but the hot sauce's burning Mama's tongue," Kenzi said, fanning her mouth. "It burns so good." Her eyes watered and her small pert nose was turning red. She took a few more mouthfuls of her food and made happy, pig-like noises.

"Now it burns like hell," she choked, clutching her now burning throat. "This is why I hate green peppers."

Lauren rolled her eyes, got up from her chair, and went to the fridge. After first peering into the carton to see if there were any small creatures floating inside, and then sniffing the box to check if it was still fresh, she carefully poured milk into a clean glass. Kenzi gratefully took the cool drink that the blonde doctor calmly passed her.

"Ah, man, now my mouth feels like heaven," Kenzi said, smacking her lips. "Thanks, Doc. I thought my tongue was gonna have third degree burns from all the spicy."

Lauren nodded and smiled her patented Mona Lisa smile. She and Kenzi weren't quite friends yet but there was an accepted truce between them after they were forced to band together for Bo's sake.

Still, she couldn't resist, "The alkali properties of the milk react with the capciacinoids of the pepper seeds and neutralizes it, thus relieving the burning sensation… but you weren't in any real danger. The capciacin in the chili alters the pain sensitivity by first increasing the sensation and then slowly decreasing it. But I highly recommend eating peppers they are an excellent source of vitamin C and the capciacin also stimulates your digestive system by signalling your stomach to produce more gastric mucus thereby increasing your digestive process," she gesticulated. "As you can see, it also affects other mucusal membranes, observe how it opens up your sinus passages," pointing at Kenzi's red, runny nose. "Capciacin could also be used to relieve pain and inflammation. Did you know that you can even the biochemical for psoriasis?" Lauren nodded to herself. She threw a quick glance at Bo who eyed her hungrily before addressing Kenzi.

"Speaking of which, how is your arm?" she was suddenly in curious-human-doctor mode. Kenzi instinctively hid her arm under the table.

"Uh," Kenzi floundered.

"Well," Bo piped up, unwittingly saving Kenzi from having to explain her mystical rash problem, "I know I've said it before, but I love it when you geek out." She reached over and squeezed Lauren's hand on the table.

Kenzi sighed in relief and decided to steer the conversation away from her arm. "Yeah, Doc, I think Bo-bo has that 'sapiophilia' thing going on."

"Sapiophilia?" Bo asked, perfect brows wrinkled.

"Psh, yeah," Kenzi scoffed with a "duh" face, "It means 'sexually attracted to intelligence.' You totally go, 'Ooh, baby, talk nerdy to me' with our smart doc here."

"Kenzi," Lauren explained patiently, "It's a neologism, a new word. While 'sapien' does pertain to cerebral capabilities and 'philia' means love, I don't think 'sapiophilia' is in the dictionary yet. Furthermore, sexual attraction is a very broad and while the list of paraphilias is extensive, I highly doubt that only one aspect of a person makes much difference in terms of desirability. In my opinion, it's the complete package… chemicals, looks, personality, etcetera… that attracts another person to his or her partner."

Bo's eyes sparked blue and she tried to blink away her arousal.

"Well, Doc, we are talking about a Sucubus here so everything is all _sex_-y," Kenzi replied, bored with Lauren's know-it-all explanation. "Anyway," she burped unattractively and pushed her stool away from the table, "I'm gonna leave before Bo tosses you on the table and eats you for dinner. Mama doesn't have enough money for therapy."

"I have pamphlets for that if you'd like," Lauren offered but it was easy to tell that she was being playful. Bo smiled and slapped Lauren lightly on the wrist. They had been playing with each other's fingers after Bo had first caressed her hand.

It was kind of sickening to Kenzi.

"Uh, no, thanks," Kenzi said, shrugging on her jacket. "I'm gonna go see Trick and Hale about some alcohol. Don't desecrate the couch, bitches!" She left with a bang.

Lauren sighed as she got up and started putting away the dishes. She really didn't get farther than putting the plates on sink when a tight body pressed against her back. The doctor couldn't help but moan out at laugh when Bo started peppering her neck with kisses.

"Bo, dishes?" Lauren tried to half-heartedly protest.

"Mmm, but, Dr. Lewis, I'm feeling a little hot myself," Bo said, nipping at her earlobe. She pulled back only far enough to turn Lauren around to face her.

Lauren, playing along, pressed the back of her hand to Bo's forhead, "Oh, my… you _are_ a little warm."

"Mm-hmm," Bo nodded, "You should totally check the temperature of my tongue. It feels like it's burning."

Lauren chuckled but swallowed a gasp when Bo kissed her deeply, their tongues entwining. Bo moaned low in her throat and lifted Lauren aggressively unto the counter, standing between her jean-clad tighs. She licked along the column of Lauren's neck, placing little bites around her collar bone as she slowly unbuttoned Lauren's blue oxford and peeled her out of her tanktop and bra. She took a moment to appreciate Lauren's tight body.

"Bo," Lauren said in warning, her eyebrow lifted.

"Shh, I need my medicine," Bo smirked wickedly, unbuttoning Lauren's jeans and pulling them down her hips along with her panties. "But don't worry, Doctor. You can keep your socks on," Bo laughed.

Bo took time to admire Lauren's long, lean legs, running her hands over them. Light caresses on her knees made Lauren squirm.

"Tickles," the human mumbled. She leaned back, her head thudding on the old walls of Kenzi and Bo's shack. The sound echoed in the hollow, ancient home.

Bo immediately shot up straight and looked at her and worried her fingers over Lauren's scalp.

"I'm okay, Bo," Lauren smiled, kissing her. "I won't break."

"Hm, really, Dr. Lewis?" Bo teased, sending a pulse of arousal from her hand to Lauren's thigh. Lauren grabbed the back of her neck roughly and bit her lip, provoking a blue glow to settle over Bo's eyes. "Mmm, Bo," she hummed.

Bo loved how bright Lauren glowed. It was enough to power a small town. She never could find anybody else who glowed for her the same way Lauren did.

With some deft maneuvering, Bo kneeled –as best as one could kneel in tight leather pants- on the dusty kitchen floor. As much as she tried to pick up after herself (and she's forced Kenzi to clean as well), their crack shack always seemed to be never be neat enough. Even Lauren's OCD couldn't help them.

The sucubus carefully pried the doctor's legs farther apart, licking her lips as she saw how Lauren's thighs were sticky with arousal, her sex flushed and engorged with blood.

"Just what the doctor ordered," Bo murmured. She tossed a blue-eyed wink in Lauren's direction before she dove in, her lips licking around Lauren's labia.

"Shit," Lauren hissed through her teeth and grabbing the counter with her left hand for leverage as she wrapped her thighs around Bo's head. Her right hand dug through the succubus' thick mane and settled in for the ride, her hips bucking as good as she got. She grunted and then whimpered softly when Bo's lips sucked her clit hard. She tensed in pleasure when Bo used teeth.

Bo's agile tongue eased into her and sent a pulse down her very core.

"Oh, that's new," Lauren gasped before the unbearable heat spreading into her body became excruciatingly painful as well as pleasurable, rendering her nearly breathless.

Bo only chuckled darkly.

* * *

"Kenzi!" Trick greeted cheerfully, "What are you doing here? Where's Bo?" He stopped wiping the counter long enough to look for his granddaughter.

"She's with Lauren," Kenzi slid up unto a stool. "They're making cupcakes." She looked at him expectantly, waiting for her free drink. The bartender rolled his eyes at her feigned innocence.  
"Oh?" Trick asked as he reluctantly served her beer. "Cupcakes?"

Kenzi nodded, taking a generous gulp of her ice cold beverage. "Of course, by cupcakes, I mean, hot lesbian sex." Kenzi griped, clutching her mug. "I wouldn't be surprised if Lauren was throughly frosting Bo's cupcake by now judging from their past mating patterns."

"I'm… going to go see if the Ash needs anything," Trick said uncomfortable, scuffling away from Kenzi as fast as he could.

Kenzi watched his retreating back and shrugged to herself.

* * *

"Why not?" Bo pouted as she held up the can. Lauren swore she saw her petulantly stomp her feet.

"Bo, whipped cream and warm, moist areas are a recipe for instant, raging yeast infections," Lauren explained rationally as she tried to pick up her scattered clothing. Bo was having none of that and grabbed the pile of clothes before scattering them all over the kitchen again. She pulled Lauren into her arms.

"I'll heal anyway," Bo laughed, playing with Lauren's hair. She was still hungry.

"Let's not get carried away," Lauren said. She kissed any further protests from Bo's lips who was only too glad to use her mouth on other things. Bo was only happy to nuzzle and caress Lauren.

"How 'bout I make it up to you, huh?" Lauren offered. She dug through one of the jars in the kitchen and magically pulled out a red-striped peppermint and took out a tray of ice cubes from the freezer.

"I'm listening…." Bo said, curious.

"Why don't I show you, instead?" Lauren slowly stuck out her tongue and placed the mint on to it before rolling it back into her mouth. The round hard candy had a clear indent against the side of Lauren's cheek and she grinned wickedly. She sucked on the candy a few times, even sharing a taste with Bo, before she took Bo's hand and the ice tray up to Bo's room.

The good doctor was willing to let her girlfriend experience the biochemical properties of menthol first hand.

* * *

"This puts a new meaning to hungry and horny," Kenzi mumbled, toeing at the mess her bestie and her girlfriend left on the dinner island.

And on the floor.

And on the sink.

And on the couch.

Dude, is that Bo's underwear on the _ceiling_?

Kenzi sighed in dismay when she found the crushed corn puff cereal box and the empty tub of ice cream. She eyed the kitchen sadly, "Just great. What the heck am I gonna eat while I watch Jungle Jeeves?"

"Kenzi?" a tired voice called from the second floor.

"Yeah?" Kenzi whined through gritted teeth.

"I left frosted cupcakes for you in the oven. It has the sprinkles that you like."

Kenzi pumped her fist in the air and did an energetic silent victory dance. She lurved her some Lauren.


End file.
